Am I fat? Do you see these rolls? Can you believe how fat my butt looks in these jeans? My goodness; where do we get this stuff? Fat Talk has become so prevalent that it has become more normal to have a conversation about bumps, bulges, and unsightly cellulite to well, not.

I guess this must be our quest for perfect, isn’t it? The perfect zero. I can’t believe I’m even saying that. It used to be a bad thing to be thought of as a zero, now it’s reached godly status. And the more the better. If 0 wasn’t small enough someone invented the double zero. The triple zero. What’s next? Do we need to start using sizes like 0 to the power of 10? It’s enough to drive a person crazy.

And remember when a 10 was the magic number? Now, that little straight line in front of that zero is scoffed at—berated—and coupled with rolled eyes and an inner body slam—ouch!– on how we could let ourselves go.

A zero—perfectly round and yet demanding of only straight lines. Yes. The quintessential shape for a woman…is the non-shape.

Now I don’t want to sound like being a zero is bad. It’s not. But I would like to put back on the table that it is only 1 little number. It is neither inherently bad or good—it just is. And the other numbers we agonize over? They’re fine too.

But it is quite obvious that we play math games with ourselves while in the privacy of our own head or publically hanging with other women. We subtract points off our self worth as our size and weight go up. We add them back in as those numbers go down. Somehow, all the work we do—all the people we touch in our lives—all of our achievements, our successes, our triumphs are trumped by any extra pound, inch, or rising size. Sadly, our self worth becomes the casualty.

And you know what? The only ones that can stop the power of zero is us. Yes, there are men telling women that nobody wants to see curvy women on the catwalk and that Barbie needs lipo on her supposed cankles — but at the end of the day, it is us, girls, women, and yes, those who love them that have to stand up and say “enough!”

Yes. Enough.

I have heard enough.

I have seen enough.

I am enough.

It is Thursday of Fat Talk Free Week. If you have been successful at stifling the inner critic in your head or the body basher in your life—congratulations—keep going. Not just this week but every week. This is a life long commitment to body esteem.

And to those of you who haven’t gotten there yet—can I just say it now? You are enough. You are powerful. You are amazing—straight and tall to bodaciously curvy. It’s time for you to say it. Say it out loud. To your friends. To your family. To the girls and women who study with you—work with you- laugh with you. Say it. Say it now.

And then, listen. After all, you need to hear it too.

Dr. Robyn’s Bio

Dr. Robyn Silverman is a child/teen development specialist, body image expert, sought-after speaker and award-winning writer, who is known for her no-nonsense yet positive approach to helping young people and their families thrive. Her ground-breaking research at Tufts University on young women and plus-sized models is the foundation for her forthcoming book, Good Girls Don’t Get Fat due out in October 2010. Dr. Robyn has been featured on The Tyra Show, Fox News, NPR and Dr. Drew Pinsky’s Radio Show and has been quoted in The Washington Post, Parenting Magazine, Prevention Magazine, U.S. News & World Report, and The Daily News. A columnist for the award-winning Bay State Parent Magazine, she has also been the body image and girl’s development expert for 10 books, including 113 Things to Do By 13 and 8 middle school trade books and is the expert in appearance discrimination and body esteem development for the Applied Developmental Science Encyclopedia, a handbook for psychologists. She is the creator of Powerful Words, a character education and leadership development program for after-school programs that runs in 10 countries for children ages 4 and up. For more information, visit www.DrRobynSilverman.com and follow her at www.twitter.com/DrRobyn.

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