Some of my friends, family and colleagues are tired of hearing me say “Friends Don’t Let Friends Fat Talk.” Sometimes when I blurt this out, others look at me with a puzzled look, and I am convinced they are probably thinking…..”What is she talking about?”

I want to remind them of the power and success of the “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk” slogan. This campaign revolutionized societal attitudes and actions related to drinking and driving.

My hope is that the Reflections Fat Talk Free Week campaign will have the same culture-changing effect. The concept is so simple and well-intentioned, but often meets with resistance.

I was recently dress shopping with a friend who had been actively trying to get in shape for her son’s wedding. She had lost twenty pounds. My friend is 65-years-old and is extremely active and productive; she is an exceptional friend, mother, wife and grandmother. She is a talented seamstress, a fabulous cook and a fiercely competitive tennis player. While trying on clothes, she complained to me about the size of her hips and thighs and asked me if I knew a procedure that could fix them. I answered her with a discussion about how healthy, beautiful and active she is and that we all have to learn to accept our genetic gifts.

She then pointed to a picture of a model in the store and said, “See they all have long thin legs!” I replied to her that most media images are computer-generated and not real. She gave me a blank stare and I stopped talking.

I have another friend who shared with me that she couldn’t meet me for dinner because she wasn’t allowing herself to eat out at restaurants until she lost 10 pounds. My initial thought was, “what a waste of time and friendship.” This is another talented, intelligent, beautiful and productive woman.
Most days I feel like I’m alone on this issue. I won’t give up though.

If I can convince one college student each semester to stop fat talking, then I have been successful. Getting students to talk about the issue and acknowledge there is a problem is the first step. My goal is to educate them that pursing a “thin ideal body weight” is paralyzing, expensive, self-sacrificing, unhealthy and degrading. The majority of the students I talk to have grown up in diet-obsessed households or in families where physical appearance is often judged or criticized. Some students have reported hurtful comments made by family members about their body size and shape, frequently reminding them not to eat this or that.

Let’s start a revolution with the following strategies:

• Compliment your friends, co-workers and family members on qualities they possess that are not based on physical attributes.
• Think about the qualities that you admire in a real life role model. Chances are those qualities will not be based on physical attributes.
• Model “fat talk free” behaviors for everyone in your life. Be conscious of your actions, comments and behaviors.
• Don’t purchase magazines or products whose advertising you find offensive. Check out about_face.org to find out how to become a media activist. About-Face equips women and girls with tools to understand and resist harmful media messages that affect their self-esteem and body image.
• Never reinforce someone’s weight loss by saying, “You look great, have you lost weight?”
• Don’t judge people based on size and appearance. Size discrimination is real and harmful.
• Appreciate all that your body does for you. Take extra special care of it!

Here are some more resources to improve body image and combat fat talk:

• Read and contribute to a body image and wellness blog created by a University of New Hampshire student Anne Mathe:
• http://www.unh.edu/health-services/ohep/anniesblog.html
• Sign No Weigh! A Declaration of Independence from a Weight-Obsessed World http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/nedaDir/files/documents/handouts/NoWeigh.pdf
• Post a copy in a visible place of Ten “Will-Powers” for Improving Body Image: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/nedaDir/files/documents/handouts/10WillBI.pdf
• For more resources check out the University of New Hampshire Health Service’s website section on Body Image: http://www.unh.edu/health-services/ohep/body_image.html

“Let me listen to me and not to them” Gertrude Stein

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 at 9:32 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.