Last week I was sitting down to eat with two of my favorite girlfriends at one of our favorite Tex Mex restaurants. I love Mexican food. I also know to prepare myself for it. I know I’ll be very full…I know that even though I’ll fill up on chips and guac early on, I will still attempt to eat my meal…and I know that while the thought of a sopapilla sounds amazing in theory, there will just be no more room. I also know that it’s a perfect recipe for conversation and with these two particular friends, lots of laughs.

As we’re talking about our weeks, and our dates, and our jobs, and our lives, one of my friends makes a comment about her weight and how she doesn’t need to eat anything more because she’s so fat. My ears sort of perked up like a cat. First of all, our dinner hadn’t even arrived yet! Secondly, I thought, “Here’s my chance! I talk to women about this topic every day! Here it is! Impress her with your knowledge. Hand her a cling. Motivate her to love herself!!!” And I just froze. And I just sat there. And I listened. And I tried to think of the perfect thing to say. It there wasn’t one…

Now mind you, this girl may weigh 100 pounds soaking wet in a ski suit and I listened to her talk about how she just wants to look the way she used to look. (I can remember times that I’ve wished I looked like her now!) She pulls out a bottle of pills, followed by another bottle and complains that they just aren’t working. I was astounded. I was baffled.

At this moment, my mind started spinning about the dozens of different approaches I could have taken with her…do I get on to her about her negative self image? Do I scold her for taking the pills? Do I tell her she’s beautiful? Do I get mad at her for not wanting to eat perfectly decent queso? And as I sat, and I sat, I chose to go with all of the above. She’s my friend. And while I didn’t lecture and I didn’t force, I did tell her she is beautiful. I did tell her that these particular pills that she pulled out of her purse were not healthy. I did tell her that she needs to take a better look at herself in the mirror next time…and I did remind her how amazing the queso is.

But when I got home, I decided to take all of my own advice. And as I washed my face and got ready to end my day, I looked in the mirror myself and thought again about my friend, and how many times I’ve seen her and wished I could look just like her. And then it occurred to me…size has nothing to do with happiness. We all have moments of insecurity. I know that when I have mine, I turn to my friends. It’s my friends who make me feel beautiful. It’s my friends who make me feel loved. It’s my friends who make all of the other cares I thought I had in the world seem to disappear.

And so that’s what I’ve decided I would like to be to her…just a friend…who helps her feel as beautiful as I know she really is…just the way she is…

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