There is no question that the movement to recognize fat talk, to name aloud its destructive messages, and to work with others to put an end to it is picking up momentum. I can’t describe how excited I am that this multigenerational and national, if not international, phenomenon “has legs,” so to speak. Nevertheless, any impetus for dramatic change raises the question of what will replace the status quo. What will we talk about instead of indulging the unconscious “does this make me look fat?” habits that seemed at one time so “obvious” and indeed “normal”?

I believe that, although no single group of people or set of institutions (e.g., mass media) is “the cause” of fat talk, negative body image, and disordered eating, all of us have a responsibility as citizens who care about ourselves and about others to help create a world that replaces fat talk with “free speech” – speech and ideas that free us to be healthy, stylish, sexy, and caring – that is, alive and engaged. Here’s 4 things you and I can do, sometimes together – and whether we are female or male – to speak in a manner that is free the prejudices and ignorance that fuel fat talk.

1. Practice taking people – and girls and women, in particular – seriously regardless of their size or shape – and speak freely with each other about what this requires, how it feels, and what happens as a result.
2. Read and discuss with your family and friends – that is, speak freely about – provocative books that address basic issues in fostering a healthier lifestyle, better parenting, and a more ethical society. Three excellent sources of ideas and inspiration for speaking and living more freely in everyday life are Margo Maine’s (2000) Body Wars: Making Peace with Women’s Bodies—An Activist’s Guide (Carslbad, CA: Gürze Books), and Joe Kelly’s (2002) Dads and Daughters (NY: Broadway Books); and Michelle Lelwica’s (2010) The Religion of Thinness: Satisfying the Spiritual Hungers Behind Women’s Obsession with Food and Weight (Carslbad, CA: Gürze Books). When you take these small but important steps, talk to your family, friends, and co-workers about your commitments and what they mean to you. Note also that these resources would be excellent for book clubs operated by friends or by libraries, as well as for discussion groups at church or synagogue. And, remember, these books contain important, thought-provoking information for women and men, that is, anyone who cares about the development of girls and boys.
3. Speak freely to your friends and family about commercials and advertisements that you find offensive because they objectify women or men, or glorify slenderness, or treat fat people in disrespectful ways. Once or twice a year, write to companies to protest such business practices, or to praise positive ads that feature, for example, people of diverse size and shape.
4. Speak freely with your friends about the women in your lives who are clearly “women of substance.”  These could be parents, grandparents, teachers you admired, writers, or even the woman next door who holds a full-time job and cares for her children and her disabled husband. A “woman of substance” is a woman who, regardless of her size and shape, has the talent, the character, the passion, and the courage (i.e., “the ovaries”) to take a stance and to make significant contributions to society. These women can be present, that is, can take up space in the world, as real people in the everyday lives of children and families, as historical personages associated with pictures on the walls, and as fictional characters in narratives of talent, character, passion, and courage. Groups of women friends or family members can work, with the support and encouragement of the men, to be those women and in so doing to locate and create inspirational stories that, from many different angles, speak freely to girls and boys, reaffirming that women are not defined solely in terms of their sexuality and dress size. If you don’t know where to start, the story of Dr. Carolyn Becker’s work in collaboration of with Delta Delta Delta, and its culmination in Fat Talk Free Week and all it means is just such a narrative.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010 at 9:00 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.